So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
