Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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