Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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