We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
