brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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