i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
