8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
