This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
we should paint friendship bongs
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