We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
