All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
