It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i out mim tonsoeep
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
