To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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