your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
