Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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