would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
