i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
