i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
