We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
