new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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