I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
BRING THE BAGELS
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
