Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
