She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
