I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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