soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
