im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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