just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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