Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
