I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
