new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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