you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
