You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
