I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
