i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've blown a few things in my day
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
