I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
third nipple confirmed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
