Please, let me fuck your mom
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
