that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
