her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
