By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
