the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
