just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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