Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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