Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
only you would photoshop your dick
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
