I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
