Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
