Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
