Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
try to milk me bitch
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