I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
