im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
