p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
