We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
