Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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