so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize