I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
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he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
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There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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