hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
