I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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