I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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