YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
