Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
