I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
